When ribbons aren’t enough

A thousands thanks to Wonkette for this howler.

Okay, so your Hummer is festooned from stem to stern with Bush-Cheney bumper stickers, “Support our Troops” ribbons, American flags and assorted “In God We Trust” schlock. You hate liberals, gays, activist judges and brown people. When you vote, you vote Republican without question. You shop at Wal*Mart. You eat at McDonald’s at least five times per week. You treat every word that flows from the pens of Ann Coulter and Charles Krauthammer as divinely inspired. You watch Fox News Channel because, unlike the liberal mainstream media, they’re fair and balanced. Your wife can’t be bothered with “politics” because she’s too busy with child rearing and scrapbooking.

Despite all that, you can’t shake that free-floating anxiety born of doubt that somehow, some way you’re not quite doing your part to fight the War on T’rr’r.

Do you live in Oklahoma? If so, put your mind at ease and make your life complete with:


For a paltry $37 ($36 for renewals), you can immerse yourself more deeply in the pimping of 9/11 than you ever dreamed possible.

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