Denver Post screws pooch, drops ball, endorses Romney and Clinton

Incredible. The Denver Post, supposedly the “liberal” newspaper in town, has endorsed corporate America sweethearts Mitt Romney and Hillary Rodham Clinton in advance of next Tuesday’s caucuses.

Of Romney the Post writes, “As a governor of Massachusetts, a skilled businessman and the savior of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, Romney possesses the executive acumen necessary to implement policies that produce results.”

Buh? “Executive acumen”? Isn’t this the same “liberal” editorial board that touted George W. Bush’s “executive acumen” when endorsing him for reelection in 2004? With all due respect — and precious little respect is actually due in this instance — these people wouldn’t know executive acumen if it walked up to them, introduced itself, shook their hands, tore off their heads and shit down their necks.

As to the Democratic race, the editorial board sputters:

The difference between the two candidates is that Obama’s eloquence is not matched by his achievements in the mere three years he has spent in the U.S. Senate. In contrast, Clinton’s long record in public life shows her well prepared to deal with two of America’s greatest challenges: ending the war in Iraq and solving our health insurance crisis.

On health care, the Post says, Clinton is the choice because her plan is patterned after Mitt Romney’s. And that’s a good thing because, well, because we’ve endorsed Mitt Romney! Jesus.

Regarding Iraq, the board tells us that “[w]e must end this war honorably, without betraying the brave Iraqi voters who proudly waved their ink-stained fingers to show their faith in America’s promises to the tender mercies of al-Qaeda torturers. ” Upon double-checking the URL displayed at the top of my browser, it appears that I didn’t inadvertently wander onto the Fox News website. The Post really and for true said that.

Anyhoo, Clinton is the choice to end the war “honorably” because of her service on the Senate Armed Services Committee. Never mind that she swallowed the administration’s bullshit hook, line and sinker in giving Bush carte blanche to wage war in the first place.

The numb-nuttedness is absolutely breathtaking.

On the plus side, I was more than a little at sea when my candidate, John Edwards, dropped out of the race earlier this week. The Post has done me a big favor by laying that uncertainty to rest. Obama it is!

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