“Where is that marvelous ape?”*

The whackosphere has been all abuzz lately over the heart-rending tale of 20-year-old Ashley Todd, a supporter of John “Walnuts” McCain. Yesterday Ms. Todd told police that she she took money from an ATM in the lilywhite Bloomfield area of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. No sooner did she clear the ATM’s camera when she was attacked at knifepoint by a gargantuan Negro and robbed of $60. The assailant was about to take his ill-gotten booty and leave when he saw a McCain bumper sticker on poor Ashley’s car.

At that point the attacker became enraged, as extraordinarily large Negroes are wont to do, and smacked Ashley around, giving her a black eye. The attacker also carved a backward “B” into the poor child’s face. See the photos at the above link.

If the story seems a bit suspicious to you, you’ll understand how the Pittsburgh police felt. The cops asked Ms. Todd to submit to a polygraph exam because her story didn’t sync particularly well with data at the alleged crime scene. For instance, had Ashley just gotten money from the ATM as she said, the machine’s camera would have recorded her. Oops. No such footage.

Nobel laureate economist Joseph Stiglitz, describing Adam Smith’s vision of capitalism, famously said that the Invisible Hand is invisible because it isn’t really there.

In much the same way, Ms. Todd’s Invisible Giant Negro is invisible because he isn’t really there either. Ms. Todd, a McCain campaign worker, has admitted to fabricating the whole story.

So what does this development portend? Fox News Executive Vice President John Moody had this to say yesterday when the fake story first came to light:

If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee.

If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting. (Emphasis added.)

Here’s hoping Mr. Moody is correct. McCain and his lunatic supporters go further beyond the pale every day. Enough is enough already.

You can follow the whole sordid mess from beginning to end here, a WordPress blog devoted exclusively to debunking Ms. Todd’s horrific racist bullshit.

Update: The Hillbuzz blog, the first link in this entry, has taken down its story about the nonexistent attack on Ms. Todd. “No egg on our faces! It never happened! lalalalalalala!” The second link in the entry is another PUMA site. That link still takes you to a breathlessly outraged story about the nonattack. Enjoy it while you still can.

More: Word around the campfire has it that media coverage of the fake story originated with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. The Trib is owned by Richard Mellon Scaife, whose money is behind pretty much all the most odious and vile Republican smear campaigns.

More: No indication yet that the McCain campaign was actually behind this fraud, but they certainly did their best to throw gasoline on the fire:

John Verrilli, the news director for KDKA in Pittsburgh, told TPM Election Central that McCain’s Pennsylvania campaign communications director gave one of his reporters a detailed version of the attack that included a claim that the alleged attacker said, “You’re with the McCain campaign? I’m going to teach you a lesson.”

Verrilli also told TPM that the McCain spokesperson had claimed that the “B” stood for Barack. According to Verrilli, the spokesperson also told KDKA that Sarah Palin had called the victim of the alleged attack, who has since admitted the story was a hoax.

. . .

The McCain spokesperson’s claims — which came in the midst of extraordinary and heated conversations late yesterday between the McCain campaign, local TV stations, and the Obama camp, as the early version of the story rocketed around the political world — is significant because it reveals a McCain official pushing a version of the story that was far more explosive than the available or confirmed facts permitted at the time.

More: Ashley Todd being hauled off to jail. Not only has she murdered the McCain campaign, per Fox Executive VP John Moody, but she’s set the crazy fat chicks rights movement back decades.

This is it, I promise (10/26/08): A Very Ashley Halloween

*Kudos to my sweetie for the title.

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Comments

  • Zach  On October 24, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Heh…I’ve had some fun slapping down some conservative folks from the Wisconsin blogosphere who’d attacked me for not condemning the attack against this women.

    I guess it was a good idea on my part not to rush to judgment and wait for all the facts to come out.

  • genghishitler  On October 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Indeed it was, Zach.

  • illusory tenant  On October 25, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Kudos to my sweetie for the title.

    lol – seconded.

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