Incompetence: The New Expertise

So then, it seems that CNN is using Bush administration FEMA Director Michael “Heckuva Job, Brownie” Brown as an expert commentator! That’s right, it’s the very same Michael Brown who set records for stupidity and incompetence during the Hurricane Katrina disaster that may never be equaled.

Brown thinks that “[t]hey want a crisis like this, so that they can use a crisis like this to shut down offshore and gas drilling[.]” “They,” of course, refers to the Obama administration.

It’s a damn good thing we have a monolithically liberal mainstream media in this country. Were it otherwise, idiot right wing whackadoos like Michael Brown might end up as expert commentators on CNN and such.

Shrill, Baby, Shrill

Here’s my favorite lunatic Republican conspiracy theory (from the past couple of days, at least). According to conservative icon and morbidly obese OxyContin junkie Rush Limbaugh, the current environmental catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico might just be the work of “environmentalist whackos.” That’s right — maybe, just maybe, said whackos blew up that offshore drilling rig, thereby causing an oil spill that may well end up worse than the Exxon Valdez disaster in 1989,  to prevent us from achieving energy independence by making “Drill, Baby, Drill” our actual, literal public policy instead of just an idiotic Republican slogan.

Didn’t Fat Boy say he’d leave the country if “Obamacare” passed?

Palin-Beck in 2012?

Hey, don’t blame me. It’s Sarah Palin’s suggestion, apparently. The fact that such lunacy got so much as a nod from CBS News, much less the full-blown article it actually got, is itself a telling comment on the state of the media, the contemporary Republican party, or both.

H/T – The Legal Satyricon

“The Tank” is back!

Sociopathic racist lunatic Tom Tancredo, who’s gotten more than his fair share of ink on this blog, simply won’t go away. The failed Republican presidential candidate and former congressman looks to be planning a run for Governor of Colorado, according to the good folks at Colorado Independent. Though he hasn’t formally declared, he’s telling reporters that he “fully intends to run.”

Tancredo’s intent is perhaps best revealed in this breathtakingly over-the-top video the Tancredo folks recently posted to YouTube. The upshot is that all those illegal immigrant gangstas we’re letting into God’s Chosen Nation are raping, murdering and eating our godly white wives, children and pets, and will continue to do so unless and until we finally wise the fuck up and do what Tom Tancredo says.

Of course, the gang whose members are depicted in the video, Mara Salvatrucha a/k/a MS-13, hails not from some barbaric foreign land but rather from Los Angeles, California, USA. But hey, never mind that shit. One should never let a fact stand in the way of hysterical fear mongering. We can be damned good and sure that Tancredo won’t allow himself to get distracted. Let the good times roll, Colorado!

CBS fraudulently covers up McCain’s appalling ignorance

John “Walnuts” McCain wants to be our next president based largely on his claim of being the right man to handle the Iraq war. Never mind that doesn’t know the difference between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. Forget his recent reference to the nonexistent Iraq-Pakistan border. (The “Iraq-Pakistan border”, if you want to call it that, is a whole country known as Iran.) He’s the right guy. He’s a foreign policy expert. Just ask him.

And with major “news organizations” like CBS committing outright fraud to back him up, how can McCain fail to get the message across? The Keith Olbermann video of the fraud is available here.

Katie Couric was questioning McCain about “the surge” and Barack Obama’s views thereon. Couric asked:

Senator McCain, Senator Obama says, while the increased number of US troops contributed to increased security in Iraq, he also credits the Sunni awakening and the Shiite government going after militias. And says that there might have been improved security even without the surge. What’s your response to that?

McCain answered:

I don’t know how you respond to something that is as — such a false depiction of what actually happened. Colonel McFarlane [phonetic] was contacted by one of the major Sunni sheiks. Because of the surge we were able to go out and protect that sheik and others. And it began the Anbar awakening.

Absolutely wrong. The so-called Anbar Awakening began in the summer of 2006, long before the infamous “surge.”

But McCain’s spectacular ignorance is no impediment when you have friends like CBS. Here’s the answer they showed their viewers:

Senator Obama has indicated by his failure to acknowledge the success of the surge that he would rather loss a war then loss a campaign.

Which is a vacuous Rebitchlifuck blabbering point clipped from an entirely different part of the interview.

Couric took over as anchor of the CBS Evening News after Dan Rather left in disgrace over a story on George W. Bush’s horrifically dubious National Guard record. The story was accurate enough, but relied in part on documents of dubious authenticity. Turns out that CBS never tried to authenticate the documents, its public statements to the contrary notwithstanding. The right wing machine screamed bloody murder, calling the documents forgeries (never established) and demanding Rather’s head on a platter.

Surely our conservative brethren will give Couric the same treatment for this far more egregious breach of journalistic ethics, right?

“We report. You decide.”

So says the always popular, rarely accurate Fox News.

Okay, that being the case, check out the July 16 edition of Lis on Law, authored by blow-dried blonde cupcake Lis Wiehl. There’s not much at all to the piece itself. It’s uncommonly silly flotsam about the common law tort of intentional infliction of emotional distress and its potential application to “bridezillas” who force their poor, long-suffering bridesmaids to endure all sorts of psychological horror.

The interesting statement, the one that now requires us to “decide,” appears in the second sentence of the final paragraph. There Ms. Wiehl tells us that the New York Court of Appeals is “the second highest court” in the state.

Aligned against Ms. Wiehl are the Court itself, which claims to be “New York State’s highest court”, and the long running television series Law and Order, from which we learn that New York’s highest court is indeed called the Court of Appeals. The show also tells us that trial courts are called “Supreme Court” and intermediate appellate courts are called the “Appellate Division” of the Supreme Court.

So then, Fox News has reported and we must decide. Is the New York Court of Appeals the highest or second highest court in that state? At issue is bragging rights, and maybe some hoity toity law stuff too, so get your votes in now!

H/T – The extraordinarily observant Wash Park Prophet, who apparently reads articles all the way to the end (even articles in the Opinion section of Fox News’ website)

You know what’s REALLY a racket?

Right wing screaming heads who’ll say anything — regardless of how preposterous, offensive or harmful — to make a goddamn buck, that’s what.

Take these choice July 16, 2008 comments from syndicated radio screamer Michael Savage, for instance. After gibbering about how “minorities” turned asthma into a “money racket”, Savage got to the money shot:

Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, “Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.”

. . . Stop with the sensitivity training. You’re turning your son into a girl, and you’re turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That’s why we have the politicians we have.

You know who REALLY didn’t have a father around to tell him not to act like a fucking douchebag moron, screaming and crying like an idiot? Michael Savage, that’s who.

Our friend Zach over at Blogging Blue, himself the father of an autistic child, verbally slaps Mr. Savage about the head and shoulders here. People like Michael Savage almost make you want to call a constitutional convention for the purpose of reconsidering certain portions of the First Amendment. But Zach reminds us that real cure for false, evil speech is truth.

Caplis: Liar, Ignoramus or Both?

Colorado radio has no shortage of half-sentient, bird brained, right wing screaming heads. Take Dan Caplis of KHOW-AM, for instance. Colorado Media Matters reports here on Caplis’ tirade against the California Supreme Court’s recent gay marriage ruling.

As is true of all his compatriots, Caplis gets no points whatsoever for originality. He gives us the usual half-cooked gruel of “liberal activist judges . . . stripping our democracy of any real meaning, because these judges are unelected, they’re essentially unimpeachable, they’re unaccountable.” And, of course, “everybody knows that conservative appointees are not gonna create some constitutional right to gay marriage[.]”

Predictably, Caplis is fulla shit about everything. First of all, what’s this “our democracy” business? California and Colorado are separate sovereigns, Cochise. Their democracy isn’t ours and our democracy isn’t theirs. The California Supreme Court based its decision on provisions of the California Constitution. Thanks largely to the fact that farting too loudly in this state amends the Colorado Constitution by operation of law, we have Article II, Section 31, which provides that “[o]nly a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.” So cheer up, Danny. Colorado is safe from the liberal scourge of equal protection under the law.

Conservative appointees would never do such a thing? Try telling that to the Republican California governors who appointed six of the seven current California Supreme Court Justices.

Unaccountable? Bitch, please. “Justices are appointed by the Governor and confirmed by the Commission on Judicial Appointments. The appointments are confirmed by the public at the next general election; justices also come before voters at the end of their 12-year terms.”

Unimpeachable? Okay, so they don’t call it “impeachment.” But California state officers are subject to recall, and “state officer” includes “Justices of Courts of Appeal and the State Supreme Court.”

So, Mr. Caplis, if you’re truly as outraged as you claim to be, I suggest that you cash in your chips at KHOW, head west and get those recall proceedings under way. Otherwise, people might think you’re nothing but a grandstanding pussy, and they’d be correct.

Finally, since this is a good a spot as any, REPUBLICAN SPACE RANGERS

Extremist left wing hate blogger outs self

My buddy Illusory Tenant, who styles his not-so-little-anymore corner of the internet The Champagne of Hate Blogs, reveals his true identity on Milwaukee Public Radio this morning. Congrats on some well deserved recognition, Tom.

Your humble correspondent remains content to operate this, The Father John’s Cough Medicine of Hate Blogs.

Morbidly obese junkie waxes idiotic on wimmins

H/T – Media Matters by way of Jezebel

Thanks to drug-addled porker Rush Limbaugh and his wildly popular radio program, we now have a comprehensive profile of those who support Hillary Clinton:

And if they — you know, if Hillary doesn’t get it — you have to understand the mindset of a lot of these feminists and women. They think they’re owed this — just like Obama supporters think they’re owed this. These women have paid their dues. They’ve been married two or three times; they’ve had two or three abortions; they’ve done everything that feminism asked them to do. They have cut men out of their lives; they have devoted themselves to causes and careers. And this — the candidacy of Hillary Clinton — is the culmination of all of these women’s efforts.

And man, are those Clinton acolytes and their surgically hardened uteri gonna be angry if Hillary doesn’t get nominated. Why? Well, because of the theft of their birthright by the uppity coloreds and their stupid upstart radical front man, that’s why:

And if it gets stolen from them, in their minds — not actually stolen, but if the country or if the Democrat Party rejects this wonderfully great, lying woman in exchange for a rookie, radical black guy who can’t tell the time of day, they are going to be so miffed. They are going to be so upset.

The point, His Corpulence says, is that somebody’s going to feel robbed. That’s the fault of the Democratic Party, which apparently promised the nomination to both the feminism-ravaged wimmins and the uppity blacks.

I’d quote more, but the rest just sounds silly.